Things here lately have been gloomy. And I'm not just referring to the 20 or so inches of snow we've seen this month, or the gray skies and frigid temperatures, or the 125 lbs of snow-melt salts I've used, though that's certainly part of it. Indeed, I'd go so far as to guess that's the general cause of it.
No, I'm talking about my mood. Life in general. It's dark, gloomy, and melancholy. I feel almost emo, and I don't like it. I often get a bit down during the winter--mild seasonal affective, I think they call it--but this year seems worse than most somehow. I don't want to do anything except lay around my house with my cat, wishing that my gas fireplace worked properly (it has, I think, a bad thermocouple), wishing that it were sunny and 60 degrees outside, wishing I could get up the gumption to go to a cafe and write. I can't get anything done at work because I can't focus on anything...this is bad because there are two major grant renewals coming up on the 25th. So far I'm keeping up with one of them, but the other is behind schedule.
Classes start tonight--my second semester in the MLIS program. I should be excited about it, but I just don't want to bother. Don't get me wrong: I will "bother." I'll be there. I just don't want to. I'd really like it to be August 2011 right now. That's my graduation date--then, at the age of 37, I'll finally be able to start looking for a real career. Unless, that is, my writing takes off before then.
Speaking of which, I do have some good news. I shouldn't say anything specific right now, but something very cool is on the horizon and is related to my writing. Nothing is set in stone, yet (I never consider things set until signed contracts are in hand) but it's moving forward with every promising look it can get. I'll keep you posted.
Happy January, and I'll try and update this thing more frequently. That is, if anyone cares.