Jabberwocky--in Plain English

It was four o’ clock in the afternoon, and the lithe, slimy creatures that looked a strange combination of badger, lizard and corkscrew did run in circles, scratch themselves, and dig holes in a grass plot surrounding a sundial. The thin, shabby-looking birds were miserable and flimsy, and the green pigs, far from home, made a noise between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.

“Beware the jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the desperate, passion-locked bird, and shun the fuming, furious bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand. Long time, the fearsome, manly and buxom foe he sought. So rested he by the Tum-Tum tree, and stood awhile in thought.

And as he stood in a state of mind when the voice is gruffish, the manner roughish, and the temper huffish, the Jabberwock, its eyes aflame, came whifffling through the thick, dense and dark wood, uttering ejaculations that were an horrific mix of a bleat, murmur, and warble.

One, two! One, two! Through and through, the vorpal blade went, “snicker-snack!”

He left it dead, and with its head, he triumphantly returned in a motion that was sort of between trot and gallop.

“And hast thou slain the jabberwock? Come to my arms, my radiantly beaming boy! Oh fair, fabulous, joyous day! Callough! Callay!” He chuckled and snorted in his joy.

It was four o’ clock in the afternoon, and the lithe, slimy creatures that looked a strange combination of badger, lizard and corkscrew did run in circles, scratch themselves, and dig holes in a grass plot surrounding a sundial. The thin, shabby-looking birds were miserable and flimsy, and the green pigs, far from home, made a noise between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle.